It is the concept of having more than one romantic affairs and tagging some parties "main chick" or "main guy" and the rest side "chicks" or side "guys". Of course this does not apply to everybody but to those whom it does apply, please patiently read this.
There is a strange contradiction in the minds of humans that even some scientists admit that they do not understand. This phenomenon deals with the idea that a human being can love more than one person at a time. Some say it is not true, others take the opposite direction of view. I say we should talk about it first.
The mind of a human being works in such a way that it organises and arranges things on its own. We can control our mind, yes but most of the activities of the human mind are subconscious and hence involuntary. This means that there is a limit to how much we can control the workings of our mind, the only thing we can really control is what we feed our minds with. It is with this at the backs of our minds that I want to discuss the idea of being able to truly love more than one person in a romantic way.
Oftentimes when we think that we love someone, it is a bunch of waves and signals in our brain telling us we enjoy that person's company. This flow of waves and signals can be associated with more than one thing. Which will explain why the average human has at least two hobbies or two things that they like. With family, it's more of an issue of getting used to because you've been with them most of your early life and possibly having grown up together, you have memories with and about each other but even then, you would enjoy some family members' company than the others'. But when outside your comfort zone and in the world where nobody likes you by default and you don't like anybody by default, liking someone become something that is done based on the signals that your brain sends you about that particular person. And these waves can be influenced by a few things such as the person's appearance, manners, voice, shared interests, intelligence etc...
Now, another thing we need to know about the waves is that is can be replicated from event to event and person to person. Maybe in varying quantities and qualities but the replication of the waves is not something that can be ignored in the discourse of how a person can claim to have romantic feelings towards more than one persons.
Oftentimes when we claim that we are in love with two people, in reality we have been in the process of "unloving" the first of the two for a while and if what we felt for the first. Person was worth anything to start with, the feelings would not just disappear but would go in batches and in fact can be awoken from its slumber with the right chain of events. But if it doesn't awake, and we do find someone whom we start to care about, we might find ourselves occasionally back in the arms of our ex. The reason for this would be the brain's attempt to hold on to something familiar. The new person becomes a pawn in a game that is set rolling by our brain in a bid to correct mistakes of the past, made by us or our ex. This is why we are often warned against attempting a serious relationship with someone who is fresh out of a relationship. (rebound)
I know of two main reasons why we might feel like we are in love with more than one persons. The first is the one identified above, as when we are in a process of falling out of love with someone but the process is incomplete and we find someone new along the way. The other is even simpler than the first but it applies mostly to ladies but also to the men.
As humans, we all have some standard of association.
Girls go:
"If he doesn't call within the first three days, he's out"
Guys go:
"If she doesn't agree to visit within the first three days, she's out"
And so on and so on.
But really, when it comes down to the real rules, we all have ideals on what our partner should be like. Some of these ideals are subconscious and some are conscious. But really, finding someone who will be exactly what we want, "no more no less" might be difficult so we settle. We settle for the nearest next best thing. At the same time though, we may subconsciously or consciously continue to look out for what we want and eventually, we find someone that is closer to the mark than the person we have. Unfortunately, we might have made some good memories with the person that we had, and well, we really want the new person cos they fit the specifications better. So basically, we can be fooled by our brains when it is making it's adjustments and comparisons. It is left to us to be alert and analyse our feelings appropriately.
Another point worth mentioning is that as we all know, life is an issue of survival of the fittest, the strongest live to fight another day. But sometimes, more than one strong person appear at the apex and it becomes quite a fix to decide which one should stay at the top. In primitive times, such dilemmas would be settled by a match of wrestling between the two apex people. (if they are men) but these days, the fight takes place in more subtle forms and can drag on for forever. This is the point where it is ideal for us as humans to sit down and think. Maybe write a list of pros and cons if it is our thing, but when it all comes down to it, it is a matter of the heart and in reality, it is indeed almost impossible to have exactly the same amount of emotional feelings for more than one persons.
Make up your heart people, your mind won't help you.
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