When I was a little girl of five, maybe less. My dad used to bath and dress me and my sisters for school. Sometimes, when he gets back from work and is so tired and worn that he just lies down on the couch, I would go over there and lie on top of him. I would bite at his nipples and pull the hair on his chest. Sometimes he would just sleep off, but other times he would give me an attitude and ask me to go and sleep like a good girl. Another super bad habit of mine was to refuse to eat my food unless it was my dad's leftover. I had somehow gotten it in my head that his leftovers tasted better and well, he felt flattered and indulged my childishness. We were very close, my dad and I. So close that sometimes, I fancy myself knowing what he is thinking and what he will say before he says it. We would have long meaningless conversations about everything and nothing and I was one hell of a happy kid.
But then, secondary school came and I insisted on going to the boarding house because my sisters did. Unfortunately, and perhaps fortunately, that single decision to be a boarder started the creation of distance between I and my dad. Before long, puberty set in and like all girls at puberty, I created my own world and would have to be dragged kicking and screaming to get out of it for a while to see what the world is really about. The distance widened and widened and widened. Until we barely exchange more than polite exchanges of pleasantries.
The relationship between a man and his daughter can be so beautiful. But also very dangerous. The Oedipus complex, a theory propagated by Sigmund Freud, a philosopher of old is that a child usually has an opposite sex parent fixation such that that child's spouse will be chosen based on the child's perception of this opposite sex parent. This fixation can get so bad that an actual romantic relationship can actually develop between say... Father and Daughter or Mother and Son. We have to understand that the Oedipus complex thing actually goes both ways. The parent can become attracted to their own child, and the child can become attracted to their parent and thus if it is not properly controlled and managed, it can become a monster that devours you, and the people you love.
On the continually ignored issue of fathers having sex with their daughters, we have to note that the Oedipus Complex doesn't always apply. Some fathers are just sick psychos who should be put away. But here is my tupence on the issue:
Fathers who have sex with their children may have a form of the Oedipus complex or the other. But as adult humans, it is our duties to shelter our children from abuse, either from ourselves or anybody else. To women out there, if and when you notice the smallest, tiniest bit of sexual comments, attitude, look etc... in your husband towards your child, please do not be quiet about it. anything that goes beyond the normal father-daughter affection is abnormal and should be discussed with the husband first, and then publicly if you don't think it stopped.
Most sociopaths have been found to be people with a background of abuse: Sexual abuse, physical abuse, mental abuse and so on. As children grow, they notice things and are way more conscious than us. Any little complain from them should be taken seriously and addressed irrespective of who the complaint is levelled against. Children know when you have fought for them, so don't pretend to do it, do it. To protect your child and to gain their trust. Let's try not to raise sociopathic kids shall we?
But then, secondary school came and I insisted on going to the boarding house because my sisters did. Unfortunately, and perhaps fortunately, that single decision to be a boarder started the creation of distance between I and my dad. Before long, puberty set in and like all girls at puberty, I created my own world and would have to be dragged kicking and screaming to get out of it for a while to see what the world is really about. The distance widened and widened and widened. Until we barely exchange more than polite exchanges of pleasantries.
The relationship between a man and his daughter can be so beautiful. But also very dangerous. The Oedipus complex, a theory propagated by Sigmund Freud, a philosopher of old is that a child usually has an opposite sex parent fixation such that that child's spouse will be chosen based on the child's perception of this opposite sex parent. This fixation can get so bad that an actual romantic relationship can actually develop between say... Father and Daughter or Mother and Son. We have to understand that the Oedipus complex thing actually goes both ways. The parent can become attracted to their own child, and the child can become attracted to their parent and thus if it is not properly controlled and managed, it can become a monster that devours you, and the people you love.
On the continually ignored issue of fathers having sex with their daughters, we have to note that the Oedipus Complex doesn't always apply. Some fathers are just sick psychos who should be put away. But here is my tupence on the issue:
Fathers who have sex with their children may have a form of the Oedipus complex or the other. But as adult humans, it is our duties to shelter our children from abuse, either from ourselves or anybody else. To women out there, if and when you notice the smallest, tiniest bit of sexual comments, attitude, look etc... in your husband towards your child, please do not be quiet about it. anything that goes beyond the normal father-daughter affection is abnormal and should be discussed with the husband first, and then publicly if you don't think it stopped.
Most sociopaths have been found to be people with a background of abuse: Sexual abuse, physical abuse, mental abuse and so on. As children grow, they notice things and are way more conscious than us. Any little complain from them should be taken seriously and addressed irrespective of who the complaint is levelled against. Children know when you have fought for them, so don't pretend to do it, do it. To protect your child and to gain their trust. Let's try not to raise sociopathic kids shall we?
