so hello there... it is a beautiful morning again yea?
well, every beautiful morning should be appreciated and respected... just like the woman on third avenue, dakota lane was doing. she was a lady in her mid twenties, a complexion that shows the obvious tampering of one of those expensive cancer causing chemicals that wash off the melanin pigment in the skin, leaving people as in her case with a very bright, very obviously bleached skin. the color was fading out though which suggested that she had stopped the use of whatever it was. probably to lackof funds. the fading of the color was not the only problem, the skin had blisters all over here and there and she was badly sun burnt. she had a little boy of about nine months old on her back whom she carried in the popular "omo isobo" way. with his legs parted over her waist and the small wrapper she used in carrying him tied around and tucked in on her abdomen.
she walked with a certain anger in her steps. it was obvious that someone was about to be at the recieving end of a lot of venom. she was fed up with the life she had been living for the last five months. she had thought about it and she had decided that what she was about to do was in fact the best thing to do. if not for her own sake, for the sake of her little boy. she continued to walk thus, through the quiet streets of dakota lane. she counted the houses starting from the first on her right. somehow, it didnt occur to her that the mail boxes in front of each house bore the number of the houses. at the twelfth house, she went up to the gate and knocked. a lanky hausa man came to the door and peered out through a peep hole.
who you wan see?" he asked even as he scratched his lightly bearded jaw lazily.
i need to see Mr and mrs Ade Thomson"
she said without batting an eyelid.
"they be the one ask you to come?" he asked even though he was already unlocking the gate. he looked her up and concluded that there could be no harm this one . not with her scrawny looking baby. he couldnt have been more wrong
" no"she answered "but i am madam's sister." she said. playing smart. knowing that it could be her only ticket into the home. he opened the gate wide and let her in. he then rushed up to the main entrance to tell the housmaid to tell madam that her sister was around.
ten minutes later, a tall dark skinned and elegant lady came out of the entrance in a bath robe and flip flops. she wore her hair down her shoulders and she was obviously fresh out of bed. she was still tapping her eyelids gently and yawning in that classy manner that you can only perfect after living amongst the cream de la cream of nigeria and europe. tamara looked at her and almost changed her mind about her mission. she looked so peaceful and tamara wasnt sure if she wanted to shatter that peace. but the deed had been done and besides she had the life of her child to consider.
good morning ma'am" kendall said. looking at the sun burned bleached washed out lady in front of her. looking for anything to recognise. she didnt find any so she decided to take the bull by the horns . she looked at the baby on the womans' back.and wondered how the baby could look so scrawnny. werent babies supposed to be chubby and round cheeked in the first one year? she wasnt sure as she hadnt ever had any.
do I know you?" kendall asked
tamara took a deep breath and answered with a straight face.
"good morning ma. no, you dont know me... I only brought this child here..." she said.as she said so, she brought down her baby and dropped the smiling little bag of bones on the floor.
this boy was fathered by your husband, he has refused to take responsibility for him and i am tired of doing it by my self. he has been sick for a while since he started teething" as an after thought, more out of a feeling of sadness that came over her as she watched the look on kendall's face change and the peace therein shatter.
" I am very sorry about all this, really... I just dont know what else to do. i am sorry. so sorry."
kendall held her peace. she looked keenly at tamara and asked, her voice betraying her calm outlook.
"you come to my house so early on sunday morning to destroy my home? really? " she didnt wait for an answer. she turned around and went back inside. tamara stood there, not knowing what to do. should she leave and go home? forget this whole thing? or should she wait and fight this out? she thought about it for just a moment and then she picked up her son, deciding that she would come back. she was just near the gates when she heard loud noises and things crashing. before she could say jack, ade rushed out of the house, covered in blood. his blue p.j bottoms were a deep crimson and he was even starting to look pale. the gate man rushed forward and caught ade just in time before he landed on the floor. the maid was there in a flash. she whipoed out her phone and was taking pictures. tamara launched at her and grabbed the phone. she smashed it before grabbing ade and putting him in the car that was driven over to where they were by the driver. it all happened so fast. as they started to drive out of the compound... kendall came back out, looking very calm and collected. she looked at tamara with those calm eyes and said " go on ... go with him... you can have him."
Tamara bent down to pick her baby whom she had placed on the floor when she was attending to ade. kendal shook her head slowly from left to right... holding up her index finger.
"no no no.. hes not going with you. you came to drop him right? and anyway... the boy needs a mother... you are not a mother." she all but snatched the baby fron tamara's arms. " he has a mother now." she said as she went into the house with the babe in her arms. she was crooning some inaudible words to the littke one who had buised himself with threading his little scrawny fingers through her hair. tamara stood there wondering what she should do. she knew she couldnt win this fight if she initiated one. if kendall stabbed her husband like this, what would she do to her? tamara joined the vehicle and left with ade to the hospital. it would be a long long day for her and it was even just starting.
NOW TO TODAY'S TOPIC.
tamara was a young lady who had gone into an extra marital affair with a married man. an affair that had produced a child. this was odd as ade's wife of six years was yet to have a child. ade didnt want to hurt his wife so he denied and disowned the pregnancy and its product. he who used to spend so much money on tamara his side chick now cut off all contact with her. she was sad, disillusioned and eventually, she became vengeful. she thought she would go over there and start a storm but on seeing ade's wife, changed her mind and decided to play it cool. it was too late though, ade's wife who was suffering from psychosis stabbed him multiple times. even though ade survived the experience, he would have to live a careful life henceforth.
now to discuss what is really at stake here.
some single ladies seem to take a fancy to being side chicks, or in my own words, the other woman. they seem to forget that one cannot afford to live an emotionally reckless life. even if they dont mind being the other woman, i often wonder to myself if they ever think that wives might not want to share their husbands. going out with a married man exposes the girl and the mans wife to a new world. a world of women who have to compete for the attention of their man. the sad thing however is that a lot of times, the wife, who is the main chick might get relegated to the position of the side chick. in terms of emotions, attention, affection, and even finances. the sort of money that side chicks recieve from the man for stuff as superficial as hairdo cannot be compared to what the man would give his main chick as feeding and homekeeping allowance for the month. the sort of time that side chicks take out of the men, either spending time physically or phone calls, or texting, sexting, and even shoping... you would realise that the bulk of his time gets taken away by the side chick and the main chick is left in the house; waiting for her man to come home from work. the woman packs his bags when hes going on his "business trips" and unpacks them when he gets back. if you are a side chick reading this, ask yourself only one question; how would i feel if i was in her shoes?
if you can answer this question, then you will know if the issue of dating another woman's husband is a good idea or not. if you have done it before, it is time to stop it. try as you may to convince yourself that you are not deterring him from his responsibility to his wife, you have to realise that that is the point. he should not be having responsibilities where his wife is concerned. he should be loving her. he should be showering her with all the gifts hes been showering you with. he should be paying for her hairdo and not yours... he should be spending those cold nights with her in his arms, protecting her from the cold... he should be fathering her children and not yours.
besides, i dont understand how women settle to be a side chick in the first place. it probably has something to do with the low self esteem that i see everyday amongst girls. theres a saying that says " it is better to be the head of an ant, than the tail of an elephant. if you choose to be the tail of an elephant, you need to realise that you are highly dispensable. just like ade abandoned tamara despite the fact that she had his child and his wife " main chick" doesnt have a child yet... that rich married man that you are hanging out with will let you go and in the end, it will be just you. so buckle up... if you are going down that road, you are in for a rough ride.
stop stripping yourselves of the last shred of dignity that you might have. raise your standards and see if the world doesnt help you meet it with hard work and dedication.
have a beautiful day...
well, every beautiful morning should be appreciated and respected... just like the woman on third avenue, dakota lane was doing. she was a lady in her mid twenties, a complexion that shows the obvious tampering of one of those expensive cancer causing chemicals that wash off the melanin pigment in the skin, leaving people as in her case with a very bright, very obviously bleached skin. the color was fading out though which suggested that she had stopped the use of whatever it was. probably to lackof funds. the fading of the color was not the only problem, the skin had blisters all over here and there and she was badly sun burnt. she had a little boy of about nine months old on her back whom she carried in the popular "omo isobo" way. with his legs parted over her waist and the small wrapper she used in carrying him tied around and tucked in on her abdomen.
she walked with a certain anger in her steps. it was obvious that someone was about to be at the recieving end of a lot of venom. she was fed up with the life she had been living for the last five months. she had thought about it and she had decided that what she was about to do was in fact the best thing to do. if not for her own sake, for the sake of her little boy. she continued to walk thus, through the quiet streets of dakota lane. she counted the houses starting from the first on her right. somehow, it didnt occur to her that the mail boxes in front of each house bore the number of the houses. at the twelfth house, she went up to the gate and knocked. a lanky hausa man came to the door and peered out through a peep hole.
who you wan see?" he asked even as he scratched his lightly bearded jaw lazily.
i need to see Mr and mrs Ade Thomson"
she said without batting an eyelid.
"they be the one ask you to come?" he asked even though he was already unlocking the gate. he looked her up and concluded that there could be no harm this one . not with her scrawny looking baby. he couldnt have been more wrong
" no"she answered "but i am madam's sister." she said. playing smart. knowing that it could be her only ticket into the home. he opened the gate wide and let her in. he then rushed up to the main entrance to tell the housmaid to tell madam that her sister was around.
ten minutes later, a tall dark skinned and elegant lady came out of the entrance in a bath robe and flip flops. she wore her hair down her shoulders and she was obviously fresh out of bed. she was still tapping her eyelids gently and yawning in that classy manner that you can only perfect after living amongst the cream de la cream of nigeria and europe. tamara looked at her and almost changed her mind about her mission. she looked so peaceful and tamara wasnt sure if she wanted to shatter that peace. but the deed had been done and besides she had the life of her child to consider.
good morning ma'am" kendall said. looking at the sun burned bleached washed out lady in front of her. looking for anything to recognise. she didnt find any so she decided to take the bull by the horns . she looked at the baby on the womans' back.and wondered how the baby could look so scrawnny. werent babies supposed to be chubby and round cheeked in the first one year? she wasnt sure as she hadnt ever had any.
do I know you?" kendall asked
tamara took a deep breath and answered with a straight face.
"good morning ma. no, you dont know me... I only brought this child here..." she said.as she said so, she brought down her baby and dropped the smiling little bag of bones on the floor.
this boy was fathered by your husband, he has refused to take responsibility for him and i am tired of doing it by my self. he has been sick for a while since he started teething" as an after thought, more out of a feeling of sadness that came over her as she watched the look on kendall's face change and the peace therein shatter.
" I am very sorry about all this, really... I just dont know what else to do. i am sorry. so sorry."
kendall held her peace. she looked keenly at tamara and asked, her voice betraying her calm outlook.
"you come to my house so early on sunday morning to destroy my home? really? " she didnt wait for an answer. she turned around and went back inside. tamara stood there, not knowing what to do. should she leave and go home? forget this whole thing? or should she wait and fight this out? she thought about it for just a moment and then she picked up her son, deciding that she would come back. she was just near the gates when she heard loud noises and things crashing. before she could say jack, ade rushed out of the house, covered in blood. his blue p.j bottoms were a deep crimson and he was even starting to look pale. the gate man rushed forward and caught ade just in time before he landed on the floor. the maid was there in a flash. she whipoed out her phone and was taking pictures. tamara launched at her and grabbed the phone. she smashed it before grabbing ade and putting him in the car that was driven over to where they were by the driver. it all happened so fast. as they started to drive out of the compound... kendall came back out, looking very calm and collected. she looked at tamara with those calm eyes and said " go on ... go with him... you can have him."
"no no no.. hes not going with you. you came to drop him right? and anyway... the boy needs a mother... you are not a mother." she all but snatched the baby fron tamara's arms. " he has a mother now." she said as she went into the house with the babe in her arms. she was crooning some inaudible words to the littke one who had buised himself with threading his little scrawny fingers through her hair. tamara stood there wondering what she should do. she knew she couldnt win this fight if she initiated one. if kendall stabbed her husband like this, what would she do to her? tamara joined the vehicle and left with ade to the hospital. it would be a long long day for her and it was even just starting.
NOW TO TODAY'S TOPIC.
tamara was a young lady who had gone into an extra marital affair with a married man. an affair that had produced a child. this was odd as ade's wife of six years was yet to have a child. ade didnt want to hurt his wife so he denied and disowned the pregnancy and its product. he who used to spend so much money on tamara his side chick now cut off all contact with her. she was sad, disillusioned and eventually, she became vengeful. she thought she would go over there and start a storm but on seeing ade's wife, changed her mind and decided to play it cool. it was too late though, ade's wife who was suffering from psychosis stabbed him multiple times. even though ade survived the experience, he would have to live a careful life henceforth.
now to discuss what is really at stake here.
some single ladies seem to take a fancy to being side chicks, or in my own words, the other woman. they seem to forget that one cannot afford to live an emotionally reckless life. even if they dont mind being the other woman, i often wonder to myself if they ever think that wives might not want to share their husbands. going out with a married man exposes the girl and the mans wife to a new world. a world of women who have to compete for the attention of their man. the sad thing however is that a lot of times, the wife, who is the main chick might get relegated to the position of the side chick. in terms of emotions, attention, affection, and even finances. the sort of money that side chicks recieve from the man for stuff as superficial as hairdo cannot be compared to what the man would give his main chick as feeding and homekeeping allowance for the month. the sort of time that side chicks take out of the men, either spending time physically or phone calls, or texting, sexting, and even shoping... you would realise that the bulk of his time gets taken away by the side chick and the main chick is left in the house; waiting for her man to come home from work. the woman packs his bags when hes going on his "business trips" and unpacks them when he gets back. if you are a side chick reading this, ask yourself only one question; how would i feel if i was in her shoes?
if you can answer this question, then you will know if the issue of dating another woman's husband is a good idea or not. if you have done it before, it is time to stop it. try as you may to convince yourself that you are not deterring him from his responsibility to his wife, you have to realise that that is the point. he should not be having responsibilities where his wife is concerned. he should be loving her. he should be showering her with all the gifts hes been showering you with. he should be paying for her hairdo and not yours... he should be spending those cold nights with her in his arms, protecting her from the cold... he should be fathering her children and not yours.
besides, i dont understand how women settle to be a side chick in the first place. it probably has something to do with the low self esteem that i see everyday amongst girls. theres a saying that says " it is better to be the head of an ant, than the tail of an elephant. if you choose to be the tail of an elephant, you need to realise that you are highly dispensable. just like ade abandoned tamara despite the fact that she had his child and his wife " main chick" doesnt have a child yet... that rich married man that you are hanging out with will let you go and in the end, it will be just you. so buckle up... if you are going down that road, you are in for a rough ride.
stop stripping yourselves of the last shred of dignity that you might have. raise your standards and see if the world doesnt help you meet it with hard work and dedication.
have a beautiful day...
