Amongst the biggest pillars that hold any society together is a collective knowledge of what is right and what is wrong. This knowledge is often subconscious and a good deal of the time, no one really comes forth to tell you this is wrong, or that is right. They are things that you garner from your day to day interaction with people. In a recent conversation with some friends, they went on and on about the virtues of a woman, what she should be and not be. They went on to talk about how it is so wrong for a woman to sleep around and why it is perfectly acceptable for men to not only sleep around but also pay for sex. When I tried to argue otherwise stating how wrong it is to castigate women over something that men are celebrated for doing. Almost as if they rehearsed it, the both chorused "it's a man's world". Admist the annoyingly hilarious noise that is common to men when things like this happen; (when they voice something they both agree upon at the same time) I was able to gather my train of thoughts and write.
Of course I don't need to point out that they are men and Therefore understandably biased. But, here is a thought that crossed my mind in the process; what if they are right? What if it's really a man's world?
If for one moment we are able to look beyond the basic conceptual implication of this sentence, we would be able to see what we, as a society have done to ourselves, To the subsequent generations after us and after them also, the idea that this is a man's world has continued to flow in the mind of the average nigerian and perhaps, the average African. I don't wonder why this is so, it is rather glaring isn't it?
The colonial masters would have Africans believe that they treated their women better than Africans did, that we need feminism more than they do, that feminism comes naturally to them and we are the animals who have the female put in a position of subservience. Maybe this is true, but I stumbled upon a ridiculous piece of fact recently; that women who lived in africa about a hundred years before now and beyond have been recorded to have more than one husbands. Divorcing and marrying a new one such that she could have as many as 6 husbands in a lifetime. This is a rather huge discovery judging from its implications. If anything, this single truth means that in its own way, there was some sort of feminism amongst the African people and perhaps given time and a little push and prod, African feminism could have grown on its own. But of course we all know that African feminism never got a chance to grow, the Abrahamic religions surfaced and made sure that did not happen. One asked women to cover their heads in shame the other asked women to be invisible. Hidden behind a flowing shadow of black. One places women in the same rank as slaves and animals, the other makes it clear that women are evil; To be controlled and manipulated. To be made to submit to a husband no matter how foolish or numbskull he is. Basically, the arrival of the two Abrahamic religions in Africa spelt doom for the already budding feminism.
Whether Africa had feminism as an ideology or not is not the issue on examination today. Rather, I am here to point out that contrary to what most people seem to believe, laws do not make themselves. Humans make laws. And humans are not made for the laws, laws Are made for humans. Thus it would only make sense for laws and dogma to change from time to time. Society decides what is right and what is wrong, what is true and what is false and what is good and what is bad. Why then does it seem to me that humans seem to have forgotten these facts and instead of man making the laws, the laws are making man, instead of man making and practising religion, the reverse seems to be the case. Humans now walk around with dogma of what a woman should be and what a man should not be. Forgetting that even nature breaks the rules and once in a while, a child is born with one leg instead of two, twins are joined together instead of separate, flowing waters run hot or warm instead of cold, the ground give way and swallow whatever is on it...
One man once asked, that if truly, America is a free country, why do its citizens continue to repeat to each other and themselves that "it's a free country"? Are they trying to convince the person they're saying it to (who probably says it just as much as they do) or they are trying to convince themselves?
In the same vein, why do men continue to repeat "it's a man's world!" is it because they need to say it so often to convince themselves and more importantly, the women? In any organisation on earth, the importance of an employee is determined by how much the employee has to offer. If we are to judge a person's relevance to us by what they can offer us, then in all honesty, it would make no sense to say it's a man's world. But then, we cannot underestimate the usefulness of men in the society. In the periods when a person's relevance or/and leadership qualification is determined by physical strength, it would make some sense to say "it's a man's world' but in the world we live where people with physical strength constantly find themselves in position of service to people of intellect, we can no longer say that it's a man's world because in reality, this world belongs to whoever knows how to break the rules and set new ones.
One of the biggest arguments for why it's a man's world is made by religious people who refer to holy books for proof. Peter said this, Moses said that! Peter and Moses lived in a strictly patriachal world, theirs were times when the rule was to stone anyone who disobeyed the laws to death! Taking advice on how to live your life in a world of today from men like this is many things the least of which is stupid. I know I'm being harsh here but honestly I am tired of people shoving religion in my face everywhere i go. And please let no body bring the Hebrew God into the matter because what God supposedly told the Jews about the laws of existence should not apply to me, a black skinned thick haired African girl. Did I hear someone say I'm racist? I'll show you what is racist. What is racist is God supposedly telling the Jews never to marry outside their tribes. What is racist is killing all of the Egyptian first born sons in order to free the Jews from a slavery into which they walked with their eyes wide open due to their greed. Why didn't they go back home after the famine that brought them to Egypt elapsed? I'll tell you, they didn't go because they saw a chance to be permanent guests in Egypt. I.e not work for much but live there and eat and reproduce. Perhaps if a new pharaoh did not rise, and enslave them, the Jews would have been the ones enslaving the Egyptians in their own land. So, God of all flesh or God of the Jews? Here is the deal, I believe it is okay to believe in God, but God, in creating humans knew exactly what she/he was doing and knew humans were intelligent, blames can be shifted all we want but it seems that we humans only blame other people when things go wrong. When things are rosy, oh well, aren't we just so good at living?
The people who say it is a man's world are not far off the mark, afterall, to who is the whole life of the average African woman dedicated? The truth is it would not be a man's world if we do not constantly make it their world by putting ourselves at gross disadvantages in order to fulfil society's desires.
Marriage now is seen as the end itself and not a means to an end, which it really is. Girls would fight hands, teeth and nails to get a man, only to spend the rest of their lives being subservient. I can understand that beyond the scramble for "wifehood", there is more to life and living and it angers me that other ladies don't. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being a wife, but does it have to come at any and every cost? To make matters worse, the men for whom women go to all these extents are often indifferent and un appreciative. They say it is their world, I say yes it is. For as long as women out there continue to rely heavily on men for financial support, it is their world. For as long as women pawn their bodies out to these sick hypocritical perverts for money, it is their world. For as long as women continue to turn blind eyes to their scumbag cheating husbands because they don't wanna fight, it is their world. For as long as women allow these cheap sneaky assholes to put a gulf between them and their sisters, friends, and other women... it's their frigging world. Ever heard the saying; "bros over hos"? Well, my dear lady that is what the male population have reduced the female population to. holes to put their penises. and whose fault is that? Answer that.
So go on girls. Whore yourselves out to them. Spend your time, energy and whatever intellect you have on them. If you're lucky, you will end up alone and miserably wretched. If you're unlucky, you will end up as wife to one of the dogs out there who thinks it's okay to pay for sex but not okay to receive payment for it .Who will marry you and go out there and bring you STIs. It might be their world, but it is YOUR life in YOUR world. So at least take control of that bit.
The only way to prevent this is to get a life. Go to school, learn a trade, get a job, be relevant. Work harder, don't take shit, don't give shit, and for God's sake, Live! Get out there and live
Of course I don't need to point out that they are men and Therefore understandably biased. But, here is a thought that crossed my mind in the process; what if they are right? What if it's really a man's world?
If for one moment we are able to look beyond the basic conceptual implication of this sentence, we would be able to see what we, as a society have done to ourselves, To the subsequent generations after us and after them also, the idea that this is a man's world has continued to flow in the mind of the average nigerian and perhaps, the average African. I don't wonder why this is so, it is rather glaring isn't it?
The colonial masters would have Africans believe that they treated their women better than Africans did, that we need feminism more than they do, that feminism comes naturally to them and we are the animals who have the female put in a position of subservience. Maybe this is true, but I stumbled upon a ridiculous piece of fact recently; that women who lived in africa about a hundred years before now and beyond have been recorded to have more than one husbands. Divorcing and marrying a new one such that she could have as many as 6 husbands in a lifetime. This is a rather huge discovery judging from its implications. If anything, this single truth means that in its own way, there was some sort of feminism amongst the African people and perhaps given time and a little push and prod, African feminism could have grown on its own. But of course we all know that African feminism never got a chance to grow, the Abrahamic religions surfaced and made sure that did not happen. One asked women to cover their heads in shame the other asked women to be invisible. Hidden behind a flowing shadow of black. One places women in the same rank as slaves and animals, the other makes it clear that women are evil; To be controlled and manipulated. To be made to submit to a husband no matter how foolish or numbskull he is. Basically, the arrival of the two Abrahamic religions in Africa spelt doom for the already budding feminism.
Whether Africa had feminism as an ideology or not is not the issue on examination today. Rather, I am here to point out that contrary to what most people seem to believe, laws do not make themselves. Humans make laws. And humans are not made for the laws, laws Are made for humans. Thus it would only make sense for laws and dogma to change from time to time. Society decides what is right and what is wrong, what is true and what is false and what is good and what is bad. Why then does it seem to me that humans seem to have forgotten these facts and instead of man making the laws, the laws are making man, instead of man making and practising religion, the reverse seems to be the case. Humans now walk around with dogma of what a woman should be and what a man should not be. Forgetting that even nature breaks the rules and once in a while, a child is born with one leg instead of two, twins are joined together instead of separate, flowing waters run hot or warm instead of cold, the ground give way and swallow whatever is on it...
One man once asked, that if truly, America is a free country, why do its citizens continue to repeat to each other and themselves that "it's a free country"? Are they trying to convince the person they're saying it to (who probably says it just as much as they do) or they are trying to convince themselves?
In the same vein, why do men continue to repeat "it's a man's world!" is it because they need to say it so often to convince themselves and more importantly, the women? In any organisation on earth, the importance of an employee is determined by how much the employee has to offer. If we are to judge a person's relevance to us by what they can offer us, then in all honesty, it would make no sense to say it's a man's world. But then, we cannot underestimate the usefulness of men in the society. In the periods when a person's relevance or/and leadership qualification is determined by physical strength, it would make some sense to say "it's a man's world' but in the world we live where people with physical strength constantly find themselves in position of service to people of intellect, we can no longer say that it's a man's world because in reality, this world belongs to whoever knows how to break the rules and set new ones.
One of the biggest arguments for why it's a man's world is made by religious people who refer to holy books for proof. Peter said this, Moses said that! Peter and Moses lived in a strictly patriachal world, theirs were times when the rule was to stone anyone who disobeyed the laws to death! Taking advice on how to live your life in a world of today from men like this is many things the least of which is stupid. I know I'm being harsh here but honestly I am tired of people shoving religion in my face everywhere i go. And please let no body bring the Hebrew God into the matter because what God supposedly told the Jews about the laws of existence should not apply to me, a black skinned thick haired African girl. Did I hear someone say I'm racist? I'll show you what is racist. What is racist is God supposedly telling the Jews never to marry outside their tribes. What is racist is killing all of the Egyptian first born sons in order to free the Jews from a slavery into which they walked with their eyes wide open due to their greed. Why didn't they go back home after the famine that brought them to Egypt elapsed? I'll tell you, they didn't go because they saw a chance to be permanent guests in Egypt. I.e not work for much but live there and eat and reproduce. Perhaps if a new pharaoh did not rise, and enslave them, the Jews would have been the ones enslaving the Egyptians in their own land. So, God of all flesh or God of the Jews? Here is the deal, I believe it is okay to believe in God, but God, in creating humans knew exactly what she/he was doing and knew humans were intelligent, blames can be shifted all we want but it seems that we humans only blame other people when things go wrong. When things are rosy, oh well, aren't we just so good at living?
The people who say it is a man's world are not far off the mark, afterall, to who is the whole life of the average African woman dedicated? The truth is it would not be a man's world if we do not constantly make it their world by putting ourselves at gross disadvantages in order to fulfil society's desires.
Marriage now is seen as the end itself and not a means to an end, which it really is. Girls would fight hands, teeth and nails to get a man, only to spend the rest of their lives being subservient. I can understand that beyond the scramble for "wifehood", there is more to life and living and it angers me that other ladies don't. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being a wife, but does it have to come at any and every cost? To make matters worse, the men for whom women go to all these extents are often indifferent and un appreciative. They say it is their world, I say yes it is. For as long as women out there continue to rely heavily on men for financial support, it is their world. For as long as women pawn their bodies out to these sick hypocritical perverts for money, it is their world. For as long as women continue to turn blind eyes to their scumbag cheating husbands because they don't wanna fight, it is their world. For as long as women allow these cheap sneaky assholes to put a gulf between them and their sisters, friends, and other women... it's their frigging world. Ever heard the saying; "bros over hos"? Well, my dear lady that is what the male population have reduced the female population to. holes to put their penises. and whose fault is that? Answer that.
So go on girls. Whore yourselves out to them. Spend your time, energy and whatever intellect you have on them. If you're lucky, you will end up alone and miserably wretched. If you're unlucky, you will end up as wife to one of the dogs out there who thinks it's okay to pay for sex but not okay to receive payment for it .Who will marry you and go out there and bring you STIs. It might be their world, but it is YOUR life in YOUR world. So at least take control of that bit.
The only way to prevent this is to get a life. Go to school, learn a trade, get a job, be relevant. Work harder, don't take shit, don't give shit, and for God's sake, Live! Get out there and live
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