It is interesting how life often turns out. Again, I got confronted by the choices i make, and again I am proud to say I learned from my mistakes. A friend of mine met a guy recently on a social media and well, one led to two and a few weeks later while she happened to be in the same town he lived, she visited. Before this meeting, they had agreed to date and the visit was like a "meet and appraise him, decide if he's what you want" kind of meeting. It was a  busy day, the day they met. Even after they had met, they didn't get to settle down and really say much to each other. Later that evening, while they sat down side by side, the first thing he did was make sexual advances towards her. She rebuffed it of course and it set him in a foul mood. The whole affair was embarrassing to say the least. Having gotten the impression that he was a disciplined guy who was looking for something real and maybe true. She was grossly disappointed and disillusioned. After they parted, she started thinking.
"Is it that i was wrong in my reading and perception of this guy?
Is it that I presented myself in a way that encouraged him to behave in that manner?
Was it something I said?
Was it what I wore?
Did I look at this guy and see what I wanted to see and not what was there to be seen?"
All. Of her thoughts were channelled towards one thing only: that there is something wrong with her, that she had passed the wrong impression etc...
It just never occurred to her that it might be his fault. That there might be something wrong with him and not her. That he might have made efforts to deceive her, that she might have been just what she ought to have been. That he might be the one without morals.
Anyways, she was feeling very bad and I tried to make her see reason, but the more I pacified, the deeper she sunk into that abyss of depression that women are so easy to Topple into. Eventually, out of frustration, I decided to leave her in the house and go out. Presumably to clear my head, I came back with the following opinion.
She had been too eager to see him. My friend had fallen into the category of girls who start planning the wedding five minutes after Meeting a man online, offline or wherever. She was tilting towards the desperate side even though she was young and had quite a bit of time on her hands to meet a man. Maybe due to pressure from home, or maybe she was just less ambitious than I thought she was, my friend was packing quite a bit of societal ills typically female vices.
On the other hand, the guy was a bit of an asshole. Self absorbed arrogant bastard who thought himself too irresistible. He obviously had a self esteem that tilted dangerously toward impossible. He saw her as a creature who was designed strictly for his pleasure and did not see the need to discuss anything. He didn't feel the need to get to know her, her body was another issue entirely. Who can blame him? Our society is one that not only excuses but expects it's men to be animals and a man who is respectful towards women is considered a sissy. Or better put; "woman wrapper"
Our society encourages women to be virtuous but does not encourage it's male population to be the same. Well what can I say... I'm just one person.