SAVE THE GIRL CHILD? NOPE! SAVE THE BOY CHILD

Good morning people. im back with my troublesome self sirs and ma'ams and i aint going away.
I know i'm a pain in the backside but here is another issue that is really affecting our society.A small virus that is fast becoming a monster
Do you know that experts claim that by 2050, there will be so much less men in the world than women such that women would just give upon marriage already and only seek to be pleasured and fertilized?
Damn Damn Damn.
But yes it is true. the male species is gradually becoming an endangered species. you know what the implication of this would be dears?
1)
Well... for one, it could mean that by 2050, feminist discussions might reduce drastically because all the human race will be concerned about is the conservation of its male species. This may result in the society becoming patriachal all over again. the men in their realms of power, leaving the women out of it.
2)
 Also, we might find a situation where polygamy and polygyny become very legal in many presently monogamous countries...
3)
 On another level... counterring the proposed idea in 1), feminism might indeed gain better grounds so much so that women begin to rule the world based on the fact that they are world majority. Because of the ratio of men to women, the world might begin to have no choice but to let women start taking very challenging roles and positions of power and decision.
4)
 We might find that our world will gradually start to become a world of sexually frustrated women. this period might see the rise of hard core serious lesbianism. sex toys such as dildos will start to beecome more like a necessity. maybe they will even become cheaper *smile ( checked one out on konga, turns out its like 12k nigerian naira... im like whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat! i mean its just a dildo!)
5)
 The idea of what the roles of men and women should be in the society might become very blurred. this is because there is so much less men than women and for every one man trying to act "manly", there might be ten women who are acting womanly/manly.
6)
 Marriages, weddings and the general breakdown of the matrimonial institution might be witnessed. there will be less actual man-woman weddings, which means that there will be less free saturday rice in nigeria *tears* (oh noooooooooooooooooooooooooo)
7)
 Prayer points in churches and mosques will change from "give me a good husband oh lord" to " lord... send me a man that will be willing to get me pregnant like twice... and also... make the babies boys." and the men will be in church like..."oh lord... deliver.me from eves!! how many women can i do? im gonna die!!!!" *lmfao
8)
 On a more serious note, there will be a breakdown of society on many grounds. many levels and this might start an emotional and mental war that might not end early enough for the world to see the real danger.
9)
 Do you know that baby mortality is higher in boys than girls?
10)
 Do you know that male children are more likely to die earlier than females?



So my peoole... please its time to stop " saving the girl child" only. lets start saving the boy child. the girl child is believed to be "delicate" because shes more likely to be abused or scarred from abuse. but the truth is that the boy child is also a victim of these things. in fact, the boy child in my humble opinion is a victim of many forms of abuse. a victim of a society that practically ignores him from the moment he is able to do the basic things for himself. the parents are usually too busy trying to "groom" the female children who are believed to be going out there into the rough world. parents attempt to shelter female children while they let the males go out into the streets on their own.
We complain that girls are being victimised all over the world and i agree. but lets not forget that theres another group of children in the world today who suffer just as much, maybe even more than the female clan. in its misery, the female clan is at least visible. people are paying attention to them, people are campaingning for them... fighting for them. but who takes care of theses little boys? who fights for them? who campaigns for them? they are suffering and their suffering is invisible... the world is not paying attention to the fact that our boys face a real danger... the danger of extinction.
A child is a child regardless of the gender, we should stop taking these boys' childhood from them and giving it to the girls. The girl child is important and delicate... the boy child is important and the way i see it, even more delicate than the girl child. We cannot continue to expect our sons to be "iron men" if we want them to survive. We should stop bringing boys up not to care... we should stop bringing them up to the habit of staying out late in the streets while we curfew the girls. We should stop making our boys carry/lift stuff that are to heavy just because they are "boys". We should stop sheilding the girls at the expense of the boys. We should realise that either we want to talk about it or not, the ratio of boys to girls is going higher by the minute and we need to steady this population by helping to reduce our male child mortality as much as we possibly can.
The girl child has proven to be resilient. despite what so many would like to believe... female children have continued to show a strength that their male counterpart havent been able to. we need to start saving our boys too. before theres too little of then to go around and the female children we "saved" have to start killing each other to get a man.
SAVE THE BOY CHILD.

THE OTHER WOMAN SYNDROM.2

so hello there... it is a beautiful morning again yea?
well, every beautiful morning should be appreciated and respected... just like the woman on third avenue, dakota lane was doing. she was a lady in her mid twenties, a complexion that shows the obvious tampering of one of those expensive cancer causing chemicals that wash off the melanin pigment in the skin, leaving people as in her case with a very bright, very obviously bleached skin. the color was fading out though which suggested that she had stopped the use of whatever it was. probably to lackof funds. the fading of the color was not the only problem, the skin had blisters all over here and there and she was badly sun burnt. she had a little boy of about nine months old on her back whom she carried in the popular "omo isobo" way. with his legs parted over her waist and the small wrapper she used in carrying him tied around and tucked in on her abdomen.

she walked with a certain anger in her steps. it was obvious that someone was about to be at the recieving end of a lot of venom. she was fed up with the life she had been living for the last five months. she had thought about it and she had decided that what she was about to do was in fact the best thing to do. if not for her own sake, for the sake of her little boy. she continued to walk thus, through the quiet streets of dakota lane. she counted the houses starting from the first on her right. somehow, it didnt occur to her that the mail boxes in front of each house bore the number of the houses. at the twelfth house, she went up to the gate and knocked. a lanky hausa man came to the door and peered out through a peep hole.
who you wan see?" he asked even as he scratched his lightly bearded jaw lazily.
i need to see Mr and mrs Ade Thomson"
she said without batting an eyelid.
"they be the one ask you to come?" he asked even though he was already unlocking the gate. he looked her up and concluded that there could be no harm this one . not with her scrawny looking baby. he couldnt have been more wrong
" no"she answered "but i am madam's sister." she said. playing smart. knowing that it could be her only ticket into the home. he opened the gate wide and let her in. he then rushed up to the main entrance to tell the housmaid to tell madam that her sister was around.
ten minutes later, a tall dark skinned and elegant lady came out of the entrance in a bath robe and flip flops. she wore her hair down her shoulders and she was obviously fresh out of bed. she was still tapping her eyelids gently and yawning in that classy manner that you can only perfect after living amongst the cream de la cream of nigeria and europe. tamara looked at her and almost changed her mind about her mission. she looked so peaceful and tamara wasnt sure if she wanted to shatter that peace. but the deed had been done and besides she had the life of her child to consider.
good morning ma'am" kendall said. looking at the sun burned bleached washed out lady in front of her. looking for anything to recognise. she didnt find any so she decided to take the bull by the horns . she looked at the baby on the womans' back.and wondered how the baby could look so scrawnny. werent babies supposed to be chubby and round cheeked in the first one year? she wasnt sure as she hadnt ever had any.
do I know you?" kendall asked
tamara took a deep breath and answered with a straight face.
"good morning ma. no, you dont know me... I only brought this child here..." she said.as she said so, she brought down her baby and dropped the smiling little bag of bones on the floor.
this boy was fathered by your husband, he has refused to take responsibility for him and i am tired of doing it by my self. he has been sick for a while since he started teething" as an after thought, more out of a feeling of sadness that came over her as she watched the look on kendall's face change and the peace therein shatter.
" I am very sorry about all this, really... I just dont know what else to do. i am sorry. so sorry."
kendall held her peace. she looked keenly at tamara and asked, her voice betraying her calm outlook.
"you come to my house so early on sunday morning to destroy my home? really? " she didnt wait for an answer. she turned around and went back inside. tamara stood there, not knowing what to do. should she leave and go home? forget this whole thing? or should she wait and fight this out? she thought about it for just a moment and then she picked up her son, deciding that she would come back. she was just near the gates when she heard loud noises and things crashing. before she could say jack, ade rushed out of the house, covered in blood. his blue p.j bottoms were a deep crimson and he was even starting to look pale. the gate man rushed forward and caught ade just in time before he landed on the floor. the maid was there in a flash. she whipoed out her phone and was taking pictures. tamara launched at her and grabbed the phone. she smashed it before grabbing ade and putting him in the car that was driven over to where they were by the driver. it all happened so fast. as they started to drive out of the compound... kendall came back out, looking very calm and collected. she looked at tamara with those calm eyes and said " go on ... go with him... you can have him."

Tamara bent down to pick her baby whom she had placed on the floor when she was attending to ade. kendal shook her head slowly from left to right... holding up her index finger.
"no no no.. hes not going with you. you came to drop him right? and anyway... the boy needs a mother... you are not a mother." she all but snatched the baby fron tamara's arms. " he has a mother now." she said as she went into the house with the babe in her arms. she was crooning some inaudible words to the littke one who had buised himself with threading his little scrawny fingers through her hair. tamara stood there wondering what she should do. she knew she couldnt win this fight if she initiated one. if kendall stabbed her husband like this, what would she do to her? tamara joined the vehicle and left with ade to the hospital. it would be a long long day for her and it was even just starting.


NOW TO TODAY'S TOPIC.
 tamara was a young lady who had gone into an extra marital affair with a married man. an affair that had produced a child. this was odd as ade's wife of six years was yet to have a child. ade didnt want to hurt his wife so he denied and disowned the pregnancy and its product. he who used to spend so much money on tamara his side chick now cut off all contact with her. she was sad, disillusioned and eventually, she became vengeful. she thought she would go over there and start a storm but on seeing ade's wife, changed her mind and decided to play it cool. it was too late though, ade's wife who was suffering from psychosis stabbed him multiple times. even though ade survived the experience, he would have to live a careful life henceforth.
now to discuss what is really at stake here.
some single ladies seem to take a fancy to being side chicks, or in my own words, the other woman. they seem to forget that one cannot afford to live an emotionally reckless life. even if they dont mind being the other woman, i often wonder to myself if they ever think that wives might not want to share their husbands. going out with a married man exposes the girl and the mans wife to a new world. a world of women who have to compete for the attention of their man. the sad thing however is that a lot of times, the wife, who is the main chick might get relegated to the position of the side chick. in terms of emotions, attention, affection, and even finances. the sort of money that side chicks recieve from the man for stuff as superficial as hairdo cannot be compared to what the man would give his main chick as feeding and homekeeping allowance for the month. the sort of time that side chicks take out of the men, either spending time physically or phone calls, or texting, sexting, and even shoping... you would realise that the bulk of his time gets taken away by the side chick and the main chick is left in the house; waiting for her man to come home from work. the woman packs his bags when hes going on his "business trips" and unpacks them when he gets back. if you are a side chick reading this, ask yourself only one question; how would i feel if i was in her shoes?
if you can answer this question, then you will know if the issue of dating another woman's husband is a good idea or not. if you have done it before, it is time to stop it. try as you may to convince yourself that you are not deterring him from his responsibility to his wife, you have to realise that that is the point. he should not be having responsibilities where his wife is concerned. he should be loving her. he should be showering her with all the gifts hes been showering you with. he should be paying for her hairdo and not yours... he should be spending those cold nights with her in his arms, protecting her from the cold... he should be fathering her children and not yours.
besides, i dont understand how women settle to be a side chick in the first place. it probably has something to do with the low self esteem that i see everyday amongst girls. theres a saying that says " it is better to be the head of an ant, than the tail of an elephant. if you choose to be the tail of an elephant, you need to realise that you are highly dispensable. just like ade abandoned tamara despite the fact that she had his child and his wife " main chick" doesnt have a child yet... that rich married man that you are hanging out with will let you go and in the end, it will be just you. so buckle up... if you are going down that road, you are in for a rough ride.
stop stripping yourselves of the last shred of dignity that you might have. raise your standards and see if the world doesnt help you meet it with hard work and dedication.
have a beautiful day...

the "other woman" syndrom 1

so i met this really awesome guy. tall, dark and handsome. nice, strong but gentle, beautiful smile, nice personality and quite intelligent too. what else could a girl want? we were friends and were starting to get close... spending a lot of time on the phone, texting, hanging out for lunch.or dinner and even buying each other stuff.
there was a hitch though
he was married!
damn damn damn!!! why life gotta do a girl like that?
but there it was. i was friends with this awsome guy who seemed to be very into me, but he was a married man and he wanted me to "date" him. ok now, here we go
i wasnt confused... i mean i knew the exact answer to this kind of issue, the same answer that i had been giving so many girls that talked to me about such before...
its not an option." "dont even think about it" "bad idea"
 so i put myself together, squared my shoulders and started to walk out on the whole thing, including the friendship part. we were at a restaurant and after explaining to him all the rather very obvious reasons why we couldnt be together, i had stood up and was ready to leave the place when he reached out and placed a hand on my elbow. i turned around and looked into his eyes, it as red, bloodshot and he seemed like he was going to start throwing a tantrum right there. he looked into my eyes with those intense eyes of his and i was rooted to the ground. couldnt go on and definitely couldnt bring myself to move towards him. i was stuck on the spot almost as if i was under a spell.
i was under a spell alright.
a spell that had been cast by my own already growing affections for him, but more saliently, a spell of sweet sweet taboo. the very idea that i was breaking a rule charged me to glue me to the spot. i stayed there and waited. my breath laboured and my palms wet.
" please stay... i really need you in my life dear"
"wht about your wife?" i had asked but he had pretended like he hadnt heard me. so i repeated the question. finally, he said
" well, we dont have a connection anymore. we havent even had sex in months."
i was not surprised... i was disappointed. this was a guy that i liked and had a nice level of respect for but here he was, using the oldest trick in the book. the dumb "we dont have a connection anymore" cliche. i was pissed and to say the least, i was irritated. i jerked my elbow from him and as i walked out of the restaurant, i made a decision not to ever see that guy again.
i went home and went about my daily activities like nothing happened but he was on my mind. not in a romantic way, more like in an aware and conscious way that enabled me to not like him much anymore but still left him in my thoughts through the activities of the day. i was viewing him as an "asshole" at first but as i thought about it more, i wondered if that old trick in the book was so old because it applied to men from centuries and centuries back.
yes!
i agree that his excuse was stupid and rather disrespectful to his wife's person, my intelligence and the institution of marriage itself. but then i am thinking that maybe many men give this excuse because many men feel this way. starting from the level of emotions, desire, self worth and ego, and most importantly and least understood, intelligence.
before marriage, women put in exra efforts to please their men, dressing hot, looking neat and clean , some even wear make up to bed and wear nice scents all in a bit to get him stuck on her and what she has to offer him. men pay the women back with attention, affection, strength, gifts, etc...
the point that i am about to make is that with marriage and especially the arrival of kids in the picture, the couple might be taken and overwealmed by responsibility and thus have little time for themselves much less each other. they grow apart, start to have different interests and might even go as far as sleeping apart .
now when i talk about sleeping apart, i dont necessarily mean sleeping in different rooms, each time you go to bed separately, at diffrent time, and not in each other's arms, you are sleeping separately. couples might start to see things they do to and for each other as a "duty" rather than a normal part of loving, respecting and caring about each other." .
at this point, the woman who used to laugh at your jokes now looks on indifferently when you talk, you feel detached and unhappy that she doesnt find yoy interesting anymore not knowing that the main reason she found you funny was because she had a connection with you... the connection that is now fast receeding.
the woman who would serve you both's meals in the same bowl no matter how many travels to the kitchen that would mean for her now doesnt feel the need to do so anymore, you are unhappy about this not realising that if she always had to wait for you to get home before eating, she would become a patient of anorexia fast.
a woman who would go out of her way to buy sexy lingiree just to get you up at the mere sight now wears the same pajamas to bed for one week straight. you wonder why shes not sexy anymore and dont realise that the nights she slept semi naked, she was in your arms and there was no cold. now she needs the extra clothing to protect herself from catching a chill despite the fact that her husband is in the same bed.
the woman who used to call you "baby" now calls you "daddy junior" because that is what the society (in this case the prying eyes of family and friends) expects of her.
the woman that would stick your dick in her mouth and attempt to swallow it whole without a second thought before now cant do it because she cannot stop wondering where that dick was on friday night even though you were just hanging out with the guys.
you feel like you dont enjoy sex with her anymore especially since the birth of the babies, but it is obvious that the lack of sexual interest on your part is not a recent development but something that had been happenning for a long while. dated back to during the pregnancy when her hormones were high and she wanted it every night but you wouldnt do it because you didnt like the way her tommy bulged.
when all these things are said and done, we see that it doesnt matter who is at fault here, what matters is how we feel and how we want to feel. extra marital affairs in not permisible under any circumstances. if she attracted you enough to put the ring on it, then i expect that when things go south as they usually do especially when children arrive, you talk about it, you work on it, you work for it and stand by your marriage no matter what. if the differences become unreconcillable, file for a divorce and at least give her the dignity of knowing that you tried.
my friendship with joe the married man showed me something that i needed to see, that cheating men are not necessarily monsters but dim witted, half witted lazy fools who are too dumb to work on what they have and would rather go out there looking for attention and affection amongst girls who most likely either want to "spend your money" or destroy your home in a bid to evict your wife from it.
who can blame them? survival of the fittest after all...

WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER MARRY A "POOR" MAN

A friend once told me when I asked her why she always asked if a guy is rich before allowing me to give him her number. She had simply replied:
I don't do poor guys. "
I had looked at her scornfully and asked
" is your father a billionaire or what"
She smiled sadly and said...
" that's the more reason why I shouldn't do poor guys."
At this point... I didn't really understand her, I was confused and irritated to say the least. But I reserved my comments for the sake of the friendship and moved on to other things.
So two weeks ago, I was in a bus going from Ado Ekiti to ile Ife, I was the last passenger to get on the bus and when I got into the bus, there were already nine men, two women and three ladies, one little child whose gender was difficult to tell due to the many layers of rags and the bushy hair and sunken eyes. I was the fifteenth person on that bus, phew!
In the bus, a misunderstanding broke out between a man and a woman over seating space...( I admit that the woman had one too many pounds on her ass) the man insulted her thoroughly and even threatened to slap her. Her husband was also in the car but he only joined the man in lambasting his wife. I was irritated, eventually I looked behind me and said to the man;
" daddy ejor e gbe enu yin je"
Meaning, " daddy please shut your mouth"
The man looked at me, aghast. Here he was, scolding a woman, a married woman and this little girl was telling him to shut up? At first he didn't know what to say. Before he could recover from that, I looked at the woman's husband and said to him,
" ati eyin naa, iyawo yin ni won bu to yen... E de joko sibe. Etun n bu naa"
Meaning
" and you too... someone is insulting your wife like that and you sit there and join him"
The woman's husband responded to me with insults which I returned in full dose. Eventually, it occurred to me that there were something common to the men in the car who were now actively supporting their counterparts, they were all poor, uneducated or barely educated men. They were all dressed shabbily and the long term effects of suffering and hardship was etched into their faces like tribal marks. They all seemed to have similar mentality to life, love, relationships and women. To them, women were objects to be acquired and disposed at will. To be made to serve and tend to their need, to bear and nurture children when needed and to be used for sexual pleasure. Objects of lesser intelligence no matter how educated they happened to be. I looked at all of this and saw in them a man I knew, my friend's dad. The type of man whom she had been avoiding by insisting that she didn't want a poor man. I suddenly found myself understanding what margaret had said... that men like her father were not ideal for girls like her. So I did my research, and as usual I came upon some interesting findings.
1. If he is from very poor, uncivilised background, it will not really matter if he himself is educated and rich, he is still a product of that environment and should therefore be treated with gloved hands. His background of lack will influence his relationship with you. He will expect you to be "grateful" to him for whatever he does, no matter how minute. Don't get me wrong, being grateful is not bad, but there are some sorts of gratefulness that only works to make you feel little. Small, undeserving of good things. This of course does not make him totally unmarriagable, you have to look at all tue other possible traits before making that decision.
2. If he is financially weak, you might wanna be careful before you say "I do". A hungry man is an angry snake... and an angry snake lashes out at the nearest objects! You as his woman are the nearest person, you will get bitten more than once.
This is not to say that "hunger" or in this case poverty is literal. Let me explain.
Poverty is not a disease. in fact, financially poor people are more likely to find, feel and value love more than rich people. But attitude to wealth or poverty is very important in determining if that seeming poverty is indeed poverty.
If he is not rich, isvhe making efforts, i mean actual efforts to leave that position? Is his outlook to life like a person who does not see himself as being in that position forever? Does he have that hopeless look on his face and countenance? like he has accepted his place in life? then he is a very poor man indeed. RUN
3. If he is the only rich person or mildly successful person in that family, you might wanna reconsider. Or at least consider deeply, one rich man amongst ten poor family members is still a poor man. The dependence of people on him will kill whatever wealth he has. If you're his woman, you will constantly find that his own "duties" will start to eat into your own purse. You will be rich, but poor by the very standards of being rich.
Of ciurse this doesnt apply everytime but how do you know if yours is one of those times when it will not appear?
If you visit his background...

 (not necessary physically. you can visit his backgroung through how he talks about his family members, how he relates with them and how much of family responsibility he bears and more importantly, is expected to bear.)


... and discover that they call to him for way too many things and he seems to spend more on family issues and needsof family members than himself, run.

The last thing you need is a man who has the weight of an entire clan on his shoulder. You might find yourself and your children constantly competing for his material attention with his extended family.
TAHERE NOING WRONG IN A MAN LOOKINGOUT FOR HIS FAMILY MEMBERS O
Just so long as its not overwhealming.

4. Even if a man comes into sudden wealth, if he somehow manages to educate and civilise himself, don't forget that the appearance of wealth (physical wealth) is not and can never be the same as true wealth ( wealth of the mind). If the physical wealth is good enough for you, then by all means go for it. But if you require more from a man than cash and sex, then you might have to scrutinise that seeming wealth. Wealth is not about just cash. If a foolish man holds money, he can turn it to sand. If a wise man holds sand, he can turn ot to money.
Even if he doesnt have physical cash now, what are his prospects? does he have a brain and mind but most importantly a will that can fetch him cash later?
If you marry a man because of his physical cash, without being sure if this is a streak of luck that can run out or a earned and well deserved cash, you might be in for some trouble.




5. Given the points above, A poor man (according to the standards described above) in many ramifications is a helpless man, one of the major needs of a human is the need of the ego. The need to belong, to feel important, to feel powerful. If a man loses the favour of money, he loses this ego related need and therefore makes substitutions consciously or unconsciously by trying to lord it over people closest to him. Who is closest to a man besides his wife? You will become his psychological and perhaps physical punching bag. You can save yourself that trouble by staying away from mentally and physically poor men.



6) It is easier for a rich man to "pretend" successfully that he loves you. Than for a poor man to "prove" that he loves you. If a man is rich, and he's not... well, to use the rich people's language... " he's not the best of husbands..." then you can console yourself with money and expensive gifts... but if a poor man is a... to use the poor people's language; "bad husband..." then you are doomed. (sorry for. Using the "D" word"
Also, a rich man can easily show his affection with gifts and trips and attention, a poor man will be too busy trying to be rich to love you the way you deserve to be loved    (even If he has the means to).
Having the means to buy you stuff does not make a man rich though, and it will be of utmost importance to understand that by "Rich" I do not necessarily refer to money. (even though money is a very important factor. *smile*)


Why do you think all the fairytale are about the wealthy prince and the damsel? And not the pauper and the damsel?
Because wealthy princes are better disposed to loving in the proper way that paupers cannot fathom.
If hes a prince indeed (not necessarily by title) he will treat you like a princess. If hes a peasant, you might be stuck with being the princess's chambermaid. Sorry, no insult intended to the paupers but Me thinks ill take a wealthy prince any day over mister pauper who will not have intellectual or/and physical wealth to spend and will still treat his lady like rags.