THIS, MY DEARS IS THE SECOND PART OF THE REASON WHY YOU MIGHT DO WELL TO STOP EXPECTING THAT RING.
The last time, we talked about how defining a relationship from the start might be a life saver. Why it is not very advisable to go into a relationship in the Western fashion if you are a young African lady who prioritizes marriage and even has a “life plan”.
The first thing we all need to know about relationships in the setting that we live every day is that it is not the same as what you see on T.V. Don’t get it twisted girls, the everyday reality of African girl who lives on African soil is very far from similar to that of those blond and red haired white chicks. Just because you spend so much of your money trying to look like them does not mean your own experience will change to become theirs or theirs, yours. We need to sit up and decide what we really want… how many guys you are willing to go to bed with before marriage (not that I care very much how a girl chooses to live her sexual life, men don’t get crucified for it, why should women…) but on a serious note girls, there are a few things you need to understand and which no one will really tell you.
A girl and a boy of exactly the same age have a mental and emotional growth difference of a minimum of five years. Girls are the older bunch. This is why it is important to be with a guy that is about five years older than you in order to increase the chances of you guys being on the same level mentally and emotionally. Wanna try something, girls just think of a twenty five year old girl that you know. What is she doing right now? Lemme guess, she’s either in a very serious relationship, looking for a very serious relationship or even married or engaged to be married. She’s probably got her life straight as far as what she wants to do for a living is and she even has plans on how to move forward in life. GBAM!!!
Now let’s look at her counterpart the twenty five year old man
He’s got a very nice, expensive ride but lives in a one room apartment and has everything upside down. He goes clubbing every other Friday night and is seen with different ladies at different times. He spends most of his spare time playing video games and watching football matches. If asked where he sees himself in five years, he doesn’t have a clear picture. He plays loud music all the time and might even have a stash of marijuana somewhere in the house. If he’s got a job, he’s probably complaining that it doesn’t pay him enough but yet he’s not making any real efforts to get a better job. He lives on junks and generally carries around a pack of condoms. You just have to know where to look.
NOTE: Age here is a very fluid idea and physical or actual age is not necessarily a determinant of how a person can be perceived. You have to figure out where the people in your life belong.
Well, I know there will be some exceptions to the rule… but these stereotypes of mine were gathered with months of research. So here is the deal, the age of a man is not necessarily the only determinant of his husbandability. There are thirty five year old men who exhibit the characteristics described above. And there are twenty four year old men who are actually matured minded and ready to face life. It is left to you to decide which your man is. A twenty five year old in the body of a thirty five year old, Or a thirty five year old in the body of a twenty five year old man? Both categories have their own defects, its just a matter of what you want.
Yes I said it… what do you want babe? What do you want right now? Sit down, make your decision before you put yourself out there.
If what you want is a one night stand, then you should not be playing around the boys who want something else. You should look for someone who wants a similar thing… that should not be too difficult as men generally love the very sound of it.
On the other hand, if what you want is a friendship with benefits, with no strings attached then you should also know how to go about getting what you want
But if what you want is a wedding, then please go after the marriageable men. Don’t try to get a ring from a toddler just because he can buy you stuff and make you cum, eventually, you will end up throwing the ring back at him in desperation to leave. Look for a matured man who wants the same things that you want and has similar plans with yours, the plan is very important
He might be responsible and matured but what are his plans?
Two years?
Three?
How long from now is he thinking of getting married? The plans have to fit yours, because if you dive into the relationship blindly without knowing his plans, you might be in for the biggest wait or maybe the biggest disappointment of your life. So my dear don’t be shy to ask, don’t be afraid he will think you’re forward. Ask him. If you ask him and he thinks you are forward… that’s your cue to know that he's not matured in the first place.
Also my dear ladies, before someone will mail me about how she's in love with a twenty year old… let me answer the question of if you fall in love with the “wrong person.”
Firstly, There is no such thing as being in love with the wrong person. Not really.
In loving that person, your brain combined a couple of signals that it received from you through the things you value. If you are a thirty year old woman who is waiting for a twenty year old to propose, well, nothing is impossible on our earth but then if you want to reason logically, you will realize that a twenty year old is more likely to buy a two seats convertible Mercedes that he cannot afford than a thirty five year old man. Why? Because he has no kids and hes not looking at having any soon. He can afford to be in debt so long as he’s got his toy car. He doesn’t give anyone lifts, his car has only two seats he spends all of his time trying to get laid or get high and he has no immediate plans of changing from that particular lifestyle. Does all these match your plans?
Secondly, the
re is no such thing as “I can change him!”
Babe, you are not God. And most importantly you are not him. The power of changing himself is in his hands and you can only influence. If you think a guy that had no immediate plans for marriage will change his mind after you have cooked and cleaned for him for one year, you are in for a serious disappointment. After a year, if the ring doesn’t come and you leave, he will just go on and find another clueless babe like you who will pick it up where you left off.
So dearest girlfriends… this is the time of decision. Sit and consider all of these things. If that ring is not forthcoming, It might be because it is NOT forthcoming. Don’t break yourself while trying to make yourself. Find your match and strike the match.
The last time, we talked about how defining a relationship from the start might be a life saver. Why it is not very advisable to go into a relationship in the Western fashion if you are a young African lady who prioritizes marriage and even has a “life plan”.
The first thing we all need to know about relationships in the setting that we live every day is that it is not the same as what you see on T.V. Don’t get it twisted girls, the everyday reality of African girl who lives on African soil is very far from similar to that of those blond and red haired white chicks. Just because you spend so much of your money trying to look like them does not mean your own experience will change to become theirs or theirs, yours. We need to sit up and decide what we really want… how many guys you are willing to go to bed with before marriage (not that I care very much how a girl chooses to live her sexual life, men don’t get crucified for it, why should women…) but on a serious note girls, there are a few things you need to understand and which no one will really tell you.
A girl and a boy of exactly the same age have a mental and emotional growth difference of a minimum of five years. Girls are the older bunch. This is why it is important to be with a guy that is about five years older than you in order to increase the chances of you guys being on the same level mentally and emotionally. Wanna try something, girls just think of a twenty five year old girl that you know. What is she doing right now? Lemme guess, she’s either in a very serious relationship, looking for a very serious relationship or even married or engaged to be married. She’s probably got her life straight as far as what she wants to do for a living is and she even has plans on how to move forward in life. GBAM!!!
Now let’s look at her counterpart the twenty five year old man
He’s got a very nice, expensive ride but lives in a one room apartment and has everything upside down. He goes clubbing every other Friday night and is seen with different ladies at different times. He spends most of his spare time playing video games and watching football matches. If asked where he sees himself in five years, he doesn’t have a clear picture. He plays loud music all the time and might even have a stash of marijuana somewhere in the house. If he’s got a job, he’s probably complaining that it doesn’t pay him enough but yet he’s not making any real efforts to get a better job. He lives on junks and generally carries around a pack of condoms. You just have to know where to look.
NOTE: Age here is a very fluid idea and physical or actual age is not necessarily a determinant of how a person can be perceived. You have to figure out where the people in your life belong.
Well, I know there will be some exceptions to the rule… but these stereotypes of mine were gathered with months of research. So here is the deal, the age of a man is not necessarily the only determinant of his husbandability. There are thirty five year old men who exhibit the characteristics described above. And there are twenty four year old men who are actually matured minded and ready to face life. It is left to you to decide which your man is. A twenty five year old in the body of a thirty five year old, Or a thirty five year old in the body of a twenty five year old man? Both categories have their own defects, its just a matter of what you want.
Yes I said it… what do you want babe? What do you want right now? Sit down, make your decision before you put yourself out there.
If what you want is a one night stand, then you should not be playing around the boys who want something else. You should look for someone who wants a similar thing… that should not be too difficult as men generally love the very sound of it.
On the other hand, if what you want is a friendship with benefits, with no strings attached then you should also know how to go about getting what you want
But if what you want is a wedding, then please go after the marriageable men. Don’t try to get a ring from a toddler just because he can buy you stuff and make you cum, eventually, you will end up throwing the ring back at him in desperation to leave. Look for a matured man who wants the same things that you want and has similar plans with yours, the plan is very important
He might be responsible and matured but what are his plans?
Two years?
Three?
How long from now is he thinking of getting married? The plans have to fit yours, because if you dive into the relationship blindly without knowing his plans, you might be in for the biggest wait or maybe the biggest disappointment of your life. So my dear don’t be shy to ask, don’t be afraid he will think you’re forward. Ask him. If you ask him and he thinks you are forward… that’s your cue to know that he's not matured in the first place.
Also my dear ladies, before someone will mail me about how she's in love with a twenty year old… let me answer the question of if you fall in love with the “wrong person.”
Firstly, There is no such thing as being in love with the wrong person. Not really.
In loving that person, your brain combined a couple of signals that it received from you through the things you value. If you are a thirty year old woman who is waiting for a twenty year old to propose, well, nothing is impossible on our earth but then if you want to reason logically, you will realize that a twenty year old is more likely to buy a two seats convertible Mercedes that he cannot afford than a thirty five year old man. Why? Because he has no kids and hes not looking at having any soon. He can afford to be in debt so long as he’s got his toy car. He doesn’t give anyone lifts, his car has only two seats he spends all of his time trying to get laid or get high and he has no immediate plans of changing from that particular lifestyle. Does all these match your plans?
Secondly, the
Babe, you are not God. And most importantly you are not him. The power of changing himself is in his hands and you can only influence. If you think a guy that had no immediate plans for marriage will change his mind after you have cooked and cleaned for him for one year, you are in for a serious disappointment. After a year, if the ring doesn’t come and you leave, he will just go on and find another clueless babe like you who will pick it up where you left off.
So dearest girlfriends… this is the time of decision. Sit and consider all of these things. If that ring is not forthcoming, It might be because it is NOT forthcoming. Don’t break yourself while trying to make yourself. Find your match and strike the match.
